The Problem with My Spouse

November 6, 2011 by Dr. Mc.

Language is an indicator of culture, and I hear married couples unintentionally giving ground in the culture war. The word “spouse” is handy for referring to unspecified married partners, just as “sibling” is useful in referring to either a brother or sister. When addressing a mixed audience, I might say, “Take time to talk with your spouse.” I might use the plural when addressing a mixed audience about our spouses. But why would I ever say anything about “my spouse?” I am a male. My wife is a female. She is my wife—a much more specific term. “When addressing an entire audience of married women, I should speak of their husbands, not their spouses. I don’t remember hearing this generic term substituted for husband or wife in decades past, but now I hear it much too often on and off stage. Why does it matter? Aren’t people just being lazy in their speech? I don’t think so. Who wants to blur the lines about whether a male is married to a female or that a female is married to a male? If I allow the terms “wife” and “husband” to drop from my vocabulary, I have taken a giant step backwards from valuable ground in the culture war.

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